I miss him!!!

今天是你21岁生日。很多人帮你庆祝生日，我就在那人群中的其中一位不起眼的朋友。这是第一年没有我的生日。看到你那么开心，真的觉得很开心。希望你年年生日都那么开心。。愿你永远幸福快乐。。

礼物迟点才拿给你~~

最后还是那句 ：生日快乐~

- 16/9 - rearranging my mp3 on my pc…suddenly  click on the song ‘amazing grace-piano version’..

While listening to this song, brings back lots of my memory..when i close my eyes, onli i realize i still miss him..i really miss him..years passed..u left us ady 1 year n 1 month..will u miss us like i miss u?

When i close my eyes, the image that flashed back my mind is ‘he is eating at dining room, he smilling to us and the significant part of him in my mind is image of me n bro reaching my hs n are forced to accept the fact he really left us..on the way back..i’m so silly to tell myself, he is there for me..alive..

I really miss u..how’s ur life up there in heaven?are u happy there?i always u are always there around me protecting me from any bad things happening to me..i’m happy to have u as my dearest and i’m always be..

Donno y…is it u know that i really miss u so much that u think i should forget u or u don miss me anymore..i seldom dream of u anymore..even if i think i reli dream of u, when i wake up, everything gone..i dont remember anything at all..y u are so cruel to me..y cant u just let me saw u longer in my dream..i’m sure i will be sleeping with a cheerful smile..

Chinese like to say “wat u think at daytime will always appear in ur dream at nite”

i am just so silly to believe it and i keep thinking of u before i sleep..hoping that i can see in my dream..n it just don work..

Days passed and i realized days without u is not easy as i think. I thought time will wash away all the sad feelings but it just proved to be useless..today i just realized i still miss  u like the day u left us and mayb even more..

Y cant god just left people we love around us by not taking them away..i dont like the feeling of the people that i love leaving me..that kind of feeling is worse than taking myself away from my love ones..

I always tell myself..grown up dy..cannot like this de..ppl will think this kind of feelings is so childish..we must face reality and accept anything happen around us as it is..but i just cant make it..

every year, my birthday wish is everyone around me is happy and always healthy..god, please don let me have this kind of feeling anymore..i really cant take it..

Till today, i still don have the courage to look at ur pic on the prayer table..the pic of u smiling to us..everytime i look at the picture more than 5 mins..eyes will become reddish and i have to force myself to hold my tears…u just go without giving any signal..signal to us so that we can be prepared and cherish the time together with u..i know others say that u are contented with ur life and achievement..u already get wat u wan and u ady rest in peace..but we are not contented with the time that u apportion to us..it’s just not enough..

Will u like the tv drama, become angels and are invisible to us, but u will always beside us watching wat we are doing, helping us when we met difficulties and cover me with my blanket if i accidentally kick it down my bed..

I love u more than i love myself and i know u love us more than we love u.. but i just cant bear to be apart wif u..we will only know how to cherish when the person we love leave us, but it’s too late..although others may say ” that gives u a lesson of loving the people that stay around u now”.. but to me, i really sacrifice a lot to gain that lesson… at least the person that i love the most.. though i ady gain that lesson, can i have him back ??? naive rite? but that’s me.. no one will understand my feeling now..perhaps..

Thanks to ‘amazing grace’ for bringing back my memories and the deep inside me.. thanks for letting me realize that he is still there inside my heart and will always be in my heart..no one can replace his place in my heart.. no one will…

I LOVE U~ N I ALWAYS WILL~

-gal-

So happy…my house now will be merrier with a new family member n now i am an aunty liao..sounds old rite??haha..but i reli enjoy my time wif my little nephew..he is so cute..i love him so much…

will always say to him..”welcome to our family”..

now he ady 3 mths old.. he will smile to us n even try to talk to us now..

reli enjoy the time spend wif him but now he veli naughty dy..keep wan us to hug him..so bad..haha~

but i reli like to play wif him..especially when u saw him smile wif u..no matter wat kind of bad feelings u are having..it will just melt away..

he will definitely cheer up our life..

but when he cry..reli gave us a big headache..but he usually cry because of 3 reasons : he wan milk, hugs or sleep…haha..but sometimes he will just cry without reason..

miss him so much now~

-love, ah yi-

上帝创造天地万物做了七天的时间。他将最美丽的事物都放在世人的面前。所以人生在世无论你经历过什么，只要你懂得珍惜，一切都可以是最美好的。记得珍惜身边的人哦~~

-*-*-phylis-*-*-

昨天实在倒霉。。没想到这种事都会被我遇上（不过不要问我什么事啦）。。哈哈。。不过幸好有一班朋友在身边支持我。谢咯。。我会记得你们的话的。以后不管发生什么事都第一时间想到你们。要做什么都会交代一声。没有你们，昨天一定会很难过。还是那句“谢咯”。。哈哈。。友谊万岁！！还要特别谢谢李先生。。不好意识，你帮我，我还发你脾气。是我任性。谢谢你仍然在我身边支持我。最总我还是很依赖你。。谢谢你还肯一直站在我身边支持我。。

-*-*-phylis-*-*-

2 and a half hours to my first exam paper..n now i still got the mood to write blog..haha..stupid…haiz..i wonder wat result i will get this sem..sure die..i never felt this useless before..lost hope dy..i dono y this sem no mood to study..wanna giv up liao..haiz..someone..giv me some hope..haha..ok..finish my crap liao…wanna go face my death penalty dy..haiz..mood fast fast come back la..i don wanna die in this exam le..now most important is luck come back ba..i waiting u at room 207..come on..haha..

-the end-……

hey…i’m back!!but donno wat to write..oh ya…just saw chua’s comment just now..reli long time din meet up wif u guys..but i hope u guys wont angry me ya cause i’m reli busy this sem..lots of things..my cousin getting married+it’s short sem so veli busy..haha..don angry me ya!!..final coming nex week..then holiday will come…yeah!!..will meet up wif u all during my holiday ya!!..miss u all..muackszzz..

-*-*-phylis-*-*-

29 Oct 2007(3.13 am)

Few hours b4, i just got to know my cousin is going to marry in 2 weeks time!!this is the good news..the bad news is ah gong is not there to attend the wedding..think back..few mths ago,ah gong is sitting beside the main door..my cousin (ling mei) n I were joking wif ah gong..my father urge my cousin to marry..n i tell ah gong,"ah gong, ling mei say she is going to get married!!haha.."ah gong laugh n say,"good ah.."..his smile is so sweet..he wait for his grandchildren to get married long ago..

It was a joke few months ago..n now have become reality..but he just couldnt wait for it..my cousin hav to get married within 100 days after my ah gong pass away…n 2 more weeks,it’s 100days (13/11)..n she is getting married on (11/11)…happy for her..can find somemore she trust n promise to giv her happiness…but he cant manage to see it..i hope he can bless her n be happy for her..

I reli love him n miss him now..feel sad..again..no matter wat happen..i believe he is just around us..watching us..blessing us..n protect us..i love him just like everyone love him..i miss him just like everyone miss him..

阿公，我爱你！！

-*-*-爱您的孙女，gal gal-*-*-

26 Oct 2007 (1.22 a.m)

6 Aug 2007(monday) is a day that i will never forget..i lost my dearest ah gong at the morning..i cried for a long time that morning..i cant accept the fact because i receive no signal he is leaving us..he just sleep..n he is gone..

The last time i saw him is the day we take graduation photo together at a photo shop,one week before he leave us..he is so happy..he knows his granddaughter graduate ady…his smiling face always appear on my mind everytime i think of him..till now,i still miss him..y u wan to leave us..y don u stay around us..i suppose to go back that weekend..but i didnt..how stupid am I..thinking back the image of him laying on the bed in front of me motionless..he is smiling..i know..till now, i don believe he already leave us..just tot he left us to go holiday at somewhere veli far n one day he will be back..i keep dreaming of him..izit he miss me or izit i miss him too much?

Everytime i cant sleep at nite, i will think of him n tears will start rolling down my cheeks..i miss him..i spent 19 yers of my life wif him and now he will spend the rest of his time accompany my ah ma..everytime i went back muar,i will pass by the place where he sleeps now..i will tell him,"Ah gong,i’m back"..

Last time when he was still there,when i reach home,he will sure ask me,"eh,come back liao ar?who fetch u back?holiday ar?"…n i will answer,"no lah..weekend ma,come back see u all lo"…now everytime i go back, no ppl will greet me wif those words again..nobody will ask me whether i;m having holiday..i can now onli talk to his picture..i still haven hav the chance to be fillial to him..i haven hav the chance to tell him how much i love him..

I guess nobody know I miss him so much…I love him so much..i also never know..is it ppl will onli cherish someone when he is no longer there?i still remember when he tells joke,his smile,his gesture..everything..n everytime i’m back muar i sure will fetch him to play mahjong..

Still remember the first time i fetch him to play mahjong..he don believe i already hav car license…he said he never see me go learn car n now suddenly got the license..it took me a week to convince him i’m a car license holder now..haha..funny izit?he is so cute..he is famous of being a good person..eventhough know kena buli also diam diam wan…always kena cheat money..ppl like to lend money from him..n never pay..n he says never mind..where can find such a good person??

I promised, i will try my best to do well in my studies..n make u proud..u are always my good ah gong..for the rest of my life,i promise,i will be good n will always cherish ppl around me..i love u!!

如果有下一世，我还是想当你的乖孙女。。还是想你当我的好阿公！！

-*-*-ur dearest granddaughter, gal gal-*-*-